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HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT IN YOURSELF — AND OTHERS – PSYCHOLOGY
One London psychiatrist believes the issue of survival through change depends exclusively on a sense of personal identity.
‘If a man knows who he is and is secure in his sense of identity he can affect his changes successfully and gradually re-establish himself. If his identity is only hazily sketched then the moment he steps out of his environment he is likely to sink. He will have to swim hard and long before he survives with any happiness or contentment.’
Failure
‘The worst part of the male-menopause is the realization that your ambitions are hopeless. Your life is no longer on the fast lane on the highway. You are no longer twenty-five. Pulling over to the slow lane makes you feel a failure.’
Survivor, New York, forty-two.
The most damaging emotion in the crisis is sense of failure. Not that in tangible terms there has been or is about to be failure, but gnawing self-doubts start taking on major proportions and magnifying themselves beyond reason. A typical man facing up to M-M tries to conform to what society dictates and evaluates as its values and ideals. But when, as they do, his values change and his priorities are not those laid down by society, then he begins to suspect he is a failure. He cannot live up to what is expected of him. Even our archetypal successful man with flourishing business, comfortable homelife and respectable financial security can look around him and from his safe platform question his life, his very existence.
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