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SUPER MARITAL SEX OPPORTUNITY
There is no way for persons who have no serious impairment to know what it is like to attempt to return to sexual intimacy following the insult of disease or injury. To help you and your spouse communicate about this issue and to broaden the range of your sexual interaction to include a small degree of imposed interference in sexual behavior, spend one love session with one partner blindfolded. Make sure there is plenty of light for one spouse while the other partner experiences the absence of one sense. Change the opportunity around on a different night. Talk about the experience both from the blind position and the sighted position in making love. Notice how you must accentuate your other senses, learn to love beyond the limits of light, and modify your sexual system and roles within that system. How adaptive were you? How adaptive was your marital system?
Some of the couples in the clinic invented their own opportunities to understand about impairment and sensory compensation and enhancement. One couple taped large wads of cotton under their arms and behind their knees, just enough to restrict movement. They wondered together about a time when their own movements might be restricted by the aging process. Some couples extended the sensory deprivation and compensation opportunity outside of the lovemaking sessions to daily living, with one partner wearing the blindfold or cotton all day while being helped by the spouse. There is a big difference between seeing and perceiving, “knowing” and experiencing, and super marital sex depends on a depth and range of adaptive sensuality, a sex strong enough to survive the most catastrophic of times. If we are able to learn this lesson and teach it to our children, we have provided them with an important love legacy. The next chapter discusses love education for super relationships.
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